


Before I Die

by juuten



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, M/M, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Top Eren Yeager, Vampires, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 03:12:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13966128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juuten/pseuds/juuten
Summary: In the city of Sina, Levi Ackerman is a doctor living with no family and no memories of life before his 22nd birthday. Fate had always denied him the love of a family he so craved, and when he finally finds someone to call his own, Levi's life takes a horrible turn. The monsters of his nightmares become reality, and the darkness that's been hiding beneath the surface consumes the only thing that's ever made him happy.





	1. Child of the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> I am in love with Ereri. This thing happened because I need them to be together. Like now. In the anime, in the manga, I don't care. Just give me some canon Ereri damn it!
> 
> In case anybody is wondering, yes, this fic will include (but not be limited to) vampires and werewolves. You will find out who is who in the following chapters. I pretty much know the general direction of where the story will go, but for the ending, I am very tempted to have a sad, bittersweet ending. It'll depend on my mood. After all, nothing lasts forever. Anyway, I will try my best not to make this story too long. Please let me know what you think!

 

Chapter 1 - Child of the Sun

 

_Levi opened his red eyes, scanning the baleful darkness in the forrest surrounding him. He could taste blood in his raw mouth. He could feel it dripping down his face, trickling from the painful gash on his forehead._

_The dizzying miasma of death permeated the air around him. He coughed up more blood as he struggled to get up. His insides felt like they were melting away from the tormenting heat in his core. The only thing that kept his weakened body up was the trunk of the dead tree he was leaning against._

_Levi was dying. He realized that as he noticed the child in his arms, peacefully sleeping and blissfully unaware of all the carnage encompassing them._

_The tiny little thing snuggled against him with such content. Levi couldn’t even dare to move again, afraid to disturb the beautiful, innocent boy’s slumber._

_He was dying, but he was happy. Happy to see this child’s face one last time…_

 

 

“So this is the only dream you can remember?”

Levi looked up from his empty lap, dark circles noticeably heavier beneath his eyes from prolonged fatigue. “Yes, it’s always the same one every night. Then I wake up and can’t go back to sleep." 

Dr. Hange Zoe nodded, furiously scribbling down on a clipboard. He found it quite annoying, how overzealous she was even after all these years of no developments. Sometimes, their appointments together felt more like personal entertainment on her part rather than therapy for his mental health. 

“Well,” she started once she was done with her emphatic scrawling. “That doesn’t really say much about your life before the accident.”

His frown deepened, blue eyes again falling to his empty lap. “But…it felt so real. All the pain and the burning…that child...”

The doctor readjusted the silver-rimmed glasses on her face, carefully pondering his words, before a disturbingly wide grin stretched across her face. “Which could be a deep-seated desire of wanting to start a family of your own! Oh, Levi! I always knew you loved kids!”

She swiveled around in her office chair, delighted cheers and shrieks stinging his ears as her hands flapped around in overexcitement.  

Levi grimaced and chose not to answer, while ignoring the red-haired woman’s absurdity. The word ‘family’ had always left an awful taste in his mouth. He didn’t want _family_ , and he certainly didn’t need a new one now. 

He shot an exasperated look at his psychiatrist as she continued her dramatic babbling.

“And what perfect timing too! The Annual Charity Ball is coming up! You never know who you might bump into!” she gave him one too many suggestive winks and perverted hand-gestures before he decided to promptly end his appointment. 

“I’m leaving,” he stated, getting up and putting his doctor’s coat back on. “I’m done wasting my time on this bullshit. I’m never coming back to this shitty ass office for your shitty ass therapy.”

Dr. Zoe followed him on his way out the door with her unfaltering grin. “Of course! We’ll catch up on your love life over lunch!” His rude words never had any effect on her fervor. Typical Hange. “Enjoy your shift! See you again soon!”

She waved at him enthusiastically before he angrily slammed the door shut behind him. 

 

 

* * *

 

  
“Dr. Ackerman! We need you in trauma room 4!”

The raven-haired doctor nodded at the nurse in acknowledgement and handed over a chart to his colleague, Dr. Mike Zacharias. “Make sure they get her into surgery as soon as possible.”

He turned to the patient - a little old lady he knew from the tea shop he visited every night before work. “Dr. Zach here will be taking over. He’s the best cardiologist we have on the floor. I promise you’ll be in the good hands.”

The old woman gave him a weak smile behind the oxygen mask covering half her face and whispered an almost inaudible ‘thank you’, before gently letting go of the sleeve of his coat. 

 He paid no attention to the inquisitive look that Dr. Mike had given him and made his way to the trauma area, discarding his gloves in a nearby biohazard bin. 

As much as he would’ve liked to wash his hands before and after every patient, being the Lead Emergency Room doctor didn’t give him much time to spare. He settled for hand sanitizer in the meantime, remembering how he had demanded that dispensers be installed in almost every corner of the ER. It was disgusting thinking about how long the department had been operating without them before he was hired 5 years ago. 

“Dr. Ackerman! The patient won’t stop bleeding!” The frazzled nurse had her hands pressed against a generous amount of gauze on an unconscious patient’s right shoulder. 

“Let me see,” he said while putting on another pair of gloves, brows furrowed as he watched her reveal a deep laceration underneath the soaked gauze. Blood was relentlessly escaping the wound, and Levi felt his mouth go dry. “Get a line started, nurse.”

“Yes, sir!” she switched positions with him and immediately searched for a vein on the patient’s left arm, while he kept the pressure on the wound.

Levi turned to another nurse bringing in the crash cart and laboratory results. “Where's his hemoglobin at?”

“Less than 5 grams per deciliter, doctor!”

_Shit._

“Call Dr. Springer. We’re sending another one up to surgery.” 

His eyes darted to the patient’s scraped skin around the wound. Even the smaller cuts were still bleeding, and the swelling was traveling all the way down to his elbow. He reached for another pack of gauze and pressed it over the wound. “Call the blood bank too. This one’s going to need a lot of blood and cryo.” 

“Yes, doctor,” the nurse said before frantically scurrying away. 

This had been his life for the past 5 years. 10 years if you count medical school. The only 10 years of his life that he could recall. 

His days revolved around his job, tending to patients every day even on his days off. The lack of doctors in their community assured him a steady job, but it also meant that they needed him either working shift or call until they could hire more physicians. Not everybody could handle Emergency Medicine, which he was proud to call his specialty. Levi thrived in the chaotic environment of his department. No matter how bad a patient’s condition was or how many patients were waiting to be seen, nothing could ever faze him. His senses remained razor-sharp in whatever situation and his emotions collected under a cool exterior - things many other doctors envied despite their years of experience. He was named the pride of The Capital Medical Center (CMC for short) for a reason. He was meant to be a doctor.

Even in school, Levi stood above the rest, breezing through both didactic and clinical courses with ease, and graduating early from both medical school and residency training. For his dissertation, he traveled all the way to the scarcely populated village of Dauper to develop an inoculation theory that could potentially eliminate the Hand Burn Disease - a severe viral infection that mimicked the symptoms of 3rd degree burns on upper extremities, which had been threatening the livelihood of the farmers living there. His study was a success, and the government was so impressed that they immediately funded the vaccination program without a second thought. The nation had never seen a more prosperous strawberry season that following year.

The city of Sina wasn’t known for producing medical prodigies, so even people from across the country knew about his prowess and talent. It was under the suggestion of the Surgeon General of the Army, Commander Dot Pixis, that he decided to specialize in Emergency Medicine. Of course, the commander had hoped Levi would join the Army Medical Department after he graduated. The old man even offered to help him become the next Surgeon General in the future. But Levi adamantly refused to involve himself in any type of war, and he was set on staying in the Capital district, despite promises of higher pay from bigger regional hospitals. 

Sina was the only home he knew, and the weather was gloriously gloomy for most of the seasons. Just as he was meant to be a doctor, Levi felt like he was meant to stay in the Capital. After losing all his memories in a car crash on his 22nd birthday, this was the only place that gave him a sense of belonging, like gravity itself was rooting him to the city.

He stood over a sink, carefully washing his hands with copious amounts of soap, as he got ready to clock out and call it a day. Most of the patients had been sent home or admitted, clearing the department in time for the next shift.

“Dr. Ackerman, great job as usual.” He caught the reflection of Dr. Keith Sadies standing behind him in the mirror.

“Thank you, Dr. Sadies,” he replied curtly. Levi never particularly liked talking to the stern doctor, as the bald man with unsettling eyes had a reputation for being intense and short-fused, and Levi had interest in competing in a display of dominance at the moment.

“I’ll be taking over your shift this Saturday night. The Medical Director says your presence at the Charity Ball this year is paramount.”

He faced the taller doctor, irritated as he specifically requested to work on Saturday so he wouldn't have to attend. “And do you not wish to go?”

Dr. Sadies maintained the displeased look on his face. “To do what? Watch the wealthiest 1% in the country get drunk on Russo-Baltique and pretend they give a damn about the charities?”

Levi gave him a grunt. “Rich people and their philanthropy right?”

“I’ve attended enough of these events. Did you really think you could avoid them forever?”

Why, yes. Yes, he did. He had no interest in socializing, let alone socialize with haughty, rich douchebags and the desperate social climbers sucking their cocks in exchange for a taste of the high life. That’s why he asks to be on shift during every social event tied to the hospital.

“I guess I’ll have to try harder next year,” he sighed before taking off his coat and heading out the automatic doors.

 

 

* * *

 

  
_A gift from the Jaeger Family._

That was all that was written on the tiny card that came with an unnervingly white box.

Levi narrowed his eyes at the undesired present. Oh, whatever had he done to deserve such a salient gift from the Jaeger Family, of all people?

Their family was famous for their obnoxious wealth and ruthless business stratagem. Levi didn't know much about the family members. He didn't care enough to know, but he wasn't incognizant of one Jaeger in particular. The head of the family, Grisha Jaeger, had also been a doctor like Levi in his youth, but as the only male successor of their affluent clan, he was expected to keep the business thriving and give up his medical career. He was doing an outstanding job at it too, since, according to Petra (his neighbor who would bring him desserts every week and bore him to death with the latest gossip), the Jaegers were currently shareholders of every pharmaceutical giant in the industry. He had a decent amount respect for the former doctor, admiring how he still somehow wove medicine into his life despite being in a completely different field of work now.

Perhaps sending the gift was Grisha Jaeger’s way of acknowledging Levi as a distinct member of his retired profession. Either that or this was part of some ploy to get on his good graces - something the Jaegers could use as leverage for… _future favors_.

He untied the silver bow and pushed the lid open to reveal a Victorian Era masquerade costume, complete with white gloves and a golden mask.

Levi couldn't help but roll his eyes. Not only was this a stupid ball. No, they had to make it a stupid masquerade ball, and the Jaegers were expecting him to attend the party wearing this atrocity. This was not a gift. This was a fucking _joke_.

He contemplated on going to the ball in the Kiton Silk tuxedo he originally planned on wearing just to spite them, but then he realized that the costume was actually the answer to all his problems. If he arrived looking ridiculous in a stuffy, ugly green mess of a suit, no socialite would ever invite him to any social gathering ever again. Those rich jerks would be so disgusted by his taste in fashion that they'd have no choice but to label him a social pariah. Then, he could focus on work and never be bothered by the elite for the rest of his life.

Without any further hesitation, he finished slicking back his dark hair and got dressed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Fuck._

His plan of becoming a social pariah was a disaster. People kept pestering him left and right, and Levi was quickly running out of patience.

Most of the women were smitten with his outfit, complimenting his choice of a green dress-shirt against his black coat with gold rope and trimmings. And the lace…they couldn't stop talking about the intricately detailed lace cuffs around his wrists that made the transition to his white gloves seamless. They all wanted to touch him, making him cringe and excuse himself repeatedly. Thank goodness nobody knew who he was, or at least he hoped no one had recognized him. That would’ve been the only benefit of wearing the stupid mask.

He hadn't even been there for 20 minutes, and he was ready to head home.

Levi quickly searched the room for the Medical Director, who was the reason for his demise in the first place. He would’ve recognized the good man even with his mask on, but no one in the room fit his profile.

_Damn it._ He needed the Medical Director to see him before he left. That way, he wouldn't receive a reprimand come Monday morning, because technically, his boss hadn't specified how long Levi was supposed to be present at the party.

In the mean time, he settled for hiding out at the very back of the room with a flute of Veuve Clicquot. There was no way he was getting through tonight without alcohol in his system to mellow him out. He didn't want to lose his job in the event that some dumb fuck who just happens to be the Prince of Fuckland decides to grab his ass and meet an accidental death from Levi throwing him off the balcony in retaliation. Being civil with dignitaries was not his forte.

  
As his eyes continued their relentless search for the Medical Director, he started taking a mental note of his surroundings as well. The entire floor had been decorated in cascading white draping and soft lighting to emphasize gold. Literally, the entire place was surrounded in gold. Golden chandeliers, golden centerpieces with white roses, golden rimmed plates and flutes. The party exuded elegance and luxury at its finest. Even though Levi was pretty well-off himself, his net worth could hardly compete with anyone else’s in the room. These people were on a whole different level of filthy rich.

The doctor couldn’t recognize most of the people here, but he had an idea of who were attending. A lot of them were heirs and heiresses of the nation’s biggest business empires, no doubt catching up on the latest gossip and fashion trends or maybe even planning their after-party orgy. Their parents were probably engaging in more serious business talk with one another, trading insider secrets and tax evasion schemes. As he watched them make half-drunken small talk with one another, the raven-haired male heard his name come up in some conversations, and he had to contain himself when some boisterous woman claimed that they had an intense love affair going on.

Levi felt heat rush to his face, not entirely sure if it was from being disgruntled or drunk, but he accepted another glass of champagne from one of the waiters walking around with a tray full of refreshments.

“Enjoying the party, Dr. Ackerman?”

He peered at the intrusive person who had recognized him and offered a small smile when he realized who it was.

“Dr. Zachary, such a pleasure to see you again,” he answered graciously, reaching out to shake hands with the Medical Director who finally decided to show up.

The bearded old man hadn't bothered wearing a mask to the party, which made Levi internally cringe at how stupid he looked in his own mask and costume. Dr. Dhalis Zachary wasn't known to go with the flow in any circumstance, and if he didn't want to wear a stupid mask, he wasn't going to.

“I’m glad you were able to attend this year. The families here have been asking to meet you for so long.”

The younger man frowned at that. “To set me up with their daughters?”

Dr. Zachary gave him a rambunctious laugh. “Perceptive as usual. But of course, I wouldn’t just let you fall into their hands tonight. At least not the wrong hands…”

The heat began to creep up his cheeks again, and god, he hoped the old man wouldn't notice. Levi wasn't even sure how another full glass of champagne had appeared in his hand.

They continued talking through dinner, predominantly regarding the medical center and policy turnovers happening with the next year, but as the night went by, their conversations kept getting less professional and a little bit more personal. Levi had actually started enjoying himself as they talked, smirking as his companion made crude jokes regarding their quirky co-workers (mostly Dr. Sadies). The Medical Director wasn't as stringent as people thought he was, but that was most likely due to the alcohol. Dr. Zachary was a huge Chateau Cheval Blanc enthusiast, and somewhere in between the Moules Marinieres and Gigot D’Agneau Pleureur, the older doctor had covinced him to abandon the wine pairing and have the Cheval Blanc instead. Dessert - Baba au Rhum - was horrible, Levi concluded, as he decided that nothing could ever beat the Petra's chocolate pie. 

Once dinner ended, the host began the auctions. The night’s biddings comprised of week-long luxury cruises and vacation packages to tropical destinations, which enticed many of the guests because Sina was a perpetually gloomy city. It was a good decision on the donors’ part, since people were clamoring to outbid each other.

Both Levi and Dr. Zachary chose not to partake, knowing full well that their busy schedules wouldn't accommodate such a long trip.

As the bidding went on, they were approached by a couple in matching red costumes. The husband donned circular glasses and a light mustache, his expression stern and cautious, while his wife, jet-black hair perfectly groomed into a chignon, kept a welcoming smile on her face. Again, neither of them were wearing masks, making Levi finally tear his off of his face in indignation.

“Dr. Zachary,” the woman called, voice emanating with kindness. “We’re so happy you could make it.”

She gave the older doctor a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. The pleasant lady then turned to Levi and took his hand in her much smaller ones. “And this must be Dr. Levi Ackerman. Such a pleasure to finally meet the pride of The Capital!”

“Nice to meet you too, ma’am.” Levi tried his best to hide his confusion, or at least he thought he was. He didn't know who the couple were, and whatever vapid expression he had on his face gave it away.

“Levi, this is Dr. Grisha Jaeger and his wife, Carla Jaeger,” Dr. Zachary intervened before Levi could embarrass himself. “They’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now.”

The dark-haired male uncomfortably shook hands with Dr. Jaeger, who still maintained a heedful expression (probably noticing that Levi was pretty much drunk).

“Yes, such a pleasure,” he added flatly, but Levi could see through his palpable pretense. The man obviously didn't like him, and the raven had a good idea why.

A dull pain slowly made its way to his temples.

“Let me go find Mikasa!” Mrs. Jaeger exclaimed in utter delight, running off to fetch their daughter - Levi presumed, and that was his cue to excuse himself before he found himself trapped in an engagement by the end of the night.

He downed another glass of wine, way too quickly might he add, before racing toward the exit. Fuck the party and fuck the Jaegers.

A wave of dizziness skewed his vision just as he reached the doors. His breathing hitched, heart pounding dangerously fast in his chest. He had to close his eyes and hold onto the door handle for support. Something was _wrong_. He was perfectly fine a while ago. Had someone slipped something into his drink?

The pain in his head was getting worse, and another wave of dizziness almost knocked him off his feet. He struggled to keep his balance, pushing his way out the doors and stumbling his way to the elevators.

_What the hell is happening to me?_ He needed help. He needed to get out of this place.

The elevators dinged upon their arrival. Levi barely waited for the doors to open before squeezing his way in and bumping into someone inside.

“Whoa, are you okay?” the person asked, catching him by the waist before he could fall to the floor.

Levi hissed at the sudden contact, trying to regain his balance. He grabbed hold of the person’s white shirt in a desperate attempt to steady himself and scowled, realizing that the other guest was wearing _fucking regular clothes_. God, he felt like a dumb fuck. “I…I’m fine. I-”

Suddenly, the world came to a screeching halt the moment his steel blue orbs met bright smoldering teal, peering down at him with a gentle expression.

“ _It’s you…_ ” Levi heard the person say tenderly, voice soothing the headache that had been plaguing him.

He couldn't find it in himself to respond, imprisoned by those gorgeous, hungry eyes. A swarm of perplexing emotions rattled deep in his core, making his bones ache and pooling in his ribcage like a slow burning fire… admiration, lust, trepidation, subservience…love. Oh, how he wanted those eyes to keep gazing at him with such affection.

All that was left was a dizzying haze that made him forget about everything else, and all that mattered at the moment was him in this handsome stranger’s protective embrace.

Soft fingers gingerly grazed his reddened cheek, trailing lightly to his lips, and that was all it took for the overwhelming emotions to set ablaze into wild fire through his veins. His body wanted nothing more than to fall to his knees in submission, to be anything and everything this person wanted him to be.

The stranger’s lips descended on his own, the kiss consuming his body in an almost scalding heat. But the pleasure - Levi would choose to burn if it meant living with this pleasure forever.

Just as the wonderful heat had appeared, it was quickly snuffed out by a numbing, painful ice that snapped him out of his rapturous reverie. He broke their kiss in shock. The familiar cold was there again - the one he’d learned to live with for so long - sharp and agonizing in the pit of his stomach. The crippling headache came back, forcing him on his knees, like a wicked exhort warning him not to _feel_.

His vision clouded as the horrified stranger faded into black, his voice echoing into indiscernible words.

Then, there was nothing. Both the pain and the stranger were gone, and Levi fell into sweet peace once more.

 

 

End of Chapter 1


	2. Blindness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who gave this fic a chance and read the first chapter! Special thank you to those who left kudos and commented! I really really do appreciate anyone who reads my story. I'm trying my best to keep this fic at a modest pace, though the story is coming along slower than I anticipated. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this second chapter!

Chapter 2 - Blindness

 

Levi awoke to the faint smell of lavender and sandalwood permeating the crisp air surrounding him. He sighed contentedly, snuggling deeper beneath his warm, plush duvet. It had been so long since he’d felt this relaxed…since he’d had actual sleep, unsullied by the horrible dreams of carnage. It felt good to be in bed like this, so peaceful…comfortable…maybe almost happy.

The intrusive sound of rain slowly drew him back to reality. Curtains slightly drawn, the dark sky greeted him with its usual grimness despite it being nine in the morning. Levi sat up from his bed, frowning as the memories of his preposterous night surged through his mind. The amount of alcohol he’d consumed was absurd. He never, ever drank that much nor did he ever kiss random strangers and pass out in their arms. That was not the kind of life he prided himself upon. God knows what else he ended up doing last night. It was humiliating, especially for a man of his age and profession.

Steel blue eyes glanced down, taking into account that he was completely (and shamefully) naked under the white duvet. His clothes were neatly folded on his fauteuil thankfully, but that failed to lessen the embarrassment he was feeling, especially after noticing a green scarf on the table that was definitely not his.

Levi was now pretty certain that the stranger had stayed over last night.

The door to his bedroom opened, and Levi felt his breathing stop when familiar, gorgeous eyes peaked in to look at him.

The stranger smiled warmly, before pushing the door all the way open with a tray of china in his hands. The delicious scent of lavender and sandalwood swirled stronger in the air, joining harmoniously with the aroma of rain and forrest and sweet peaches. A dizzying haze began to cloud his mind, making his eyes flutter at the pleasant feeling deep in his belly. He watched as the tall, brown-haired male placed the tray down carefully on the night desk beside the bed. There was hot tea in the teacups, but Levi couldn’t smell the tea at all. All he could do was stare, taking in the magnetizing teal and soothing smile in front of him.

His bottom lip trembled, unsure of what to stay. He wasn't even exactly sure how he was supposed to feel. He’d never had guests over, especially not guests he probably shared body fluids with the night before. So he wasn’t exactly sure how to deal with the situation, rather torn between asking the stranger to leave immediately or asking the stranger to stay forever.

_Forever huh? Is that what you want?_

The surprising thought left an awful taste in his mouth. He’d never been so attracted to someone to the point of skewing his logic. He couldn't even remember the last time he’d been infatuated with someone. The feeling was immensely foreign, maddening even. The unearthly pull he felt for this person was too strong, nothing remotely close to what he’d ever felt before.

“Uhm, I’m sorry this is all I could find,” the stranger started, pink tinging his cheeks. “You don’t really have any food here.”

Levi swallowed, mouth going dry, before finally gathering enough self-control to look away. “I…don’t really eat much…” he managed to say, fighting away the uncharacteristic timidness he was feeling. God, what was this person doing to him?

“Would you like me to go out and buy you something?”

The stranger placed a hand on Levi’s, the innocent gesture making his skin tingle from a scalding heat, and that was enough to jolt him out of his pleasurable haze. He quickly moved his hand away and glared.

“I think you need to leave,” he stated curtly, logic finally triumphing over whatever the hell he was previously thinking. This situation was all sorts of wrong, and he had no desire to sink deeper than he already had. Last night had been a terrible lapse of judgment on his part, and all he wanted was to quickly sweep this little incident under the rug. He didn’t need anybody getting attached. He didn’t need himself getting attached. No, he didn't need the pain of getting attached and abandoned, as what any relationship would provide an abundance of. His family certainly had no problem abandoning him, so what would stop anyone else from doing the same?

_I don’t need anyone. I don’t._

The stranger had initially looked surprised, but the smile he’d maintained steadily returned, only more doleful this time. Levi regretted looking at him just in time to see that forlorn expression. “Is that what you really want?”

_Of course not._

“Yes,” he answered, almost too swiftly, afraid that he’d say anything else.

The other male nodded in understanding, but instead of heading for the door, he kneeled next to the bed, hands folded on top of the white sheets to support his chin.

Levi scowled, grabbing more of the duvet to cover himself. “What are you doing? I told you to leave.”

“I know,” the brunet replied, eyes glowing with a playful expression. “I need you to know a few things first though.”

“I know enough to understand that we both need to nip this in the bud now. I’m sure my inexcusable behavior yesterday must have told you otherwise, but whatever happened will never happen again. I am not looking for a relationship, and I do not wish to keep in contact with you.”

There. Simple and clear. That should have done it. But of course, this person just had to keep prodding.

The stubborn stranger tilted his head curiously. “But…what do you think happened last night?”

Levi frowned in annoyance, heat creeping up his cheeks. “You idiot! It’s pretty obvious. I woke up naked, and you’re here in my home.”

“And?”

“And…” Levi didn't want to say it. It was embarrassing enough just thinking about it. He was certain that his face was entirely red now. “We…we kissed…and we ended up here…and I’m naked…”

“Nothing happened after that kiss though. I promise.”

“But then why am I naked?”

The brunet chuckled. “You kept complaining about how hot it was in here last night and kept throwing your clothes everywhere. I didn't think you’d like seeing the mess when you woke up so I folded everything for you.”

Oh. The revelation erased the frown on his face, calming him down a bit. Oh…

“So you did sleep here last night?”

“Well, I slept on the couch. It wouldn’t have been right to sleep next to you, but I wanted to make sure you’d be fine the next day.”

Though still somewhat skeptical, Levi relaxed a bit, leaning back against the head board with his arms crossed over his chest. “And how’d you know where I live?”

“Your boss - he arranged for your ride home, but I couldn’t just let you go home by yourself. As for how I got in…”

It was the stranger’s turn to frown this time, eyes smoldering almost dangerously. The doctor felt a chill run down his spine. “I know you live in a very secure building, and I’m sure you trust your neighbors…but…”

Levi tensed, as the brunet got up and placed both hands on the headboard - trapping him right where he was leaning.

“Please…learn to lock your doors. I don’t know what I might do if someone came in here and tried to hurt you…”

_Hurt me?_

“I’m not some weak little child you have to worry about,” Levi argued, trying to ignore how close the stranger was, lips mere inches away. “Shit. Why do you even care anyway? I can live my life however the fuck I want!”

“Because you’re-” the brunet bit his lip, stopping himself. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. Now that…well…”

He looked straight into Levi’s eyes with such a burning, hungry stare that felt so intimidating and inviting at the same time. Their lips were so close that he could feel the heat radiating off the stranger’s skin. His heart was beating so hard against his ribcage, craving for something so sinful. It was so wrong that it made him want it even more.

_I don’t need anybody. I don’t want anybody._

_No, I don’t want anybody but you..._

“Now that I…” the stranger never finished his sentence, because for some twisted, illogical reason, Levi had decided to close the distance between their lips with a searing kiss.

 

* * *

 

  
_I’ve fucking lost my mind._ Levi thought pitifully, as he watched his house guest take a sip of tea.

They had moved to the dining table, after their…intimate session of completely appropriate intensity (what do kids these days call it? Frenching? First base?), which Levi could still not believe that he had initiated. He could only blame it on the confusing onslaught of emotions he’d been facing since this stranger entered his life. Though he wasn’t tempted to do anything more than kiss, Levi feared that he would soon want to find out what pleasurable activity came next.

The brunet smiled so sweetly at him that it made the doctor’s cold heart flutter.

What was it about this brown-haired, green-eyed person that made Levi feel so vulnerable? So emotional? So greedy for physical contact?

“What would you like me to call you?” The tall male started, hands carefully holding onto the small china teacup as he took another tentative sip.

“Levi is fine.” He picked up his own cup, fingers surrounding the rim with utmost care. “I’m Dr. Levi Ackerman. And you are?”

“Oh, my name is Eren.”

Eren. _Saint._ The name sounded wonderful.

“You got a last name, Eren?”

Eren placed his teacup on the table, eyes observing the tea in front of him. “Uhh…Kruger. Eren Kruger.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. If Eren was trying to hide something, he was doing an awful job at it. “Hm…you don’t sound so sure about that.”

“N-No, I am. I mean I’m sure. I…I’m Eren Kruger.”

The lie was blatantly obvious, but the doctor decided to let it slide. Eren probably had his reasons to keep his last name a secret. For now though, Levi would refrain from prying.

“So doctor, huh?” The brunet continued, fingers tapping at the table. “You look awfully young to be a doctor. Did you just get your license?”

Levi shook his head, before finishing the rest of his tea. The guy definitely knew how to brew a good cup. “I’ve been working at The CMC since I was 27.”

Eren shot up from his chair in surprise. “What????!!! 27? How old are you now?”

He winced at how loud the taller male was being. “I’m 32. How old did you think I was?”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” Eren exclaimed in disbelief. “I thought you were in your early 20s! At most 25! Oh god…”

A wave of dread consumed his heart, anger bubbling in his chest. “Well how old are you?”

“Uhh… That’s not really-”

“Eren. How old are you?” he seethed, now standing in front of his guest. Steel blue eyes piercing into anxious, fearful green.

The brunet refused to answer, guilt painted on his face as he chose to look everywhere else except into the doctor’s eyes.

Levi gritted his teeth, infuriated at the stubbornness. “Eren Kruger! How old are you?!”

“I’m s-sixteen,” he relented, voice shaking and eyes still turned away.

_Fuck._

Somehow, Levi felt betrayed. Even though he knew it wasn't Eren’s fault, he felt like he’d just been played a fool - like he’d won the lottery, only to find out that the money wasn’t his to keep.

Fate was just as cruel as ever. Did he really think he had a chance? Did he really think he’d finally found…this thing he refused to acknowledge…the one thing he’d always selfishly wanted for himself…something he would never admit to anyone, sometimes even to himself…he thought maybe he would finally have it…

Sixteen. Motherfucking sixteen. He was just a boy, and yet here he was, towering over Levi by almost a foot. Eren started to look younger and younger as he scanned the boy’s features - wide, child-like eyes despite the possessive, ungovernable fire they held. He may have been tall, but he was still lanky, with barely any toned muscle. How had Levi missed all this pertinent information? He’d been so blinded by desire that he didn't even think about how old Eren was before doing something so intimate.

As the reality of the situation sank in, the more Levi felt disgusted with himself.

“Levi…please…don’t…” Eren begged, hands reaching out to hold him, but Levi was quick to swat those hands away.

He grabbed the minor by the collar of his shirt, dragging him out with a strength he never even knew he had. “Nope. Fuck no. I’m not fucking doing this. Get the fuck out of my house, you shitty brat!”

“No!!! Levi, please don’t kick me out!” he fought against the doctor’s hard grasp, tears at the brink of dripping down his face.

“Forget about it, you little shit! I’m not about to lose my license over some jailbait!” He shoved Eren out the door, but not before his heart shattered at the sight of the boy’s sobbing. It struck him right between the ribs, the excruciating pain that came with seeing the boy’s pained expression. His heart was crying out as well. It hurt so much that he had to slam the door close, locking it in place, before Eren could fight his way back in.

“But, Levi, I love you!” he called out in desperation, voice faintly muffled by the door between them. “I would marry you right now if you wanted! We can adopt!”

_This fucker._ They hadn't even known each other for a good 24 hours, and he was already talking about marriage and adopting.

_Oh, Levi! I always knew you loved kids!_ He remembered Hange say only a few days ago. He pushed the upsetting memory away, tears welling at the corners of his eyes.

Levi massaged his temples, willing away the sorrow and rage he felt. He pressed his back against the door, brows furrowed, trying to figure out how to explain everything carefully. “Look, kid. Think about it. You’re young. I’m sure there’s lots of girls and guys who’d want to date you, and I’m way too fucking old for you. Shit, I’m fucking old enough to be your father!”

“No, you’re not! My father’s 39!”

Levi growled, the crippling ache in his chest only growing. “That doesn't make the situation any fucking better, you little shit!”

“But I don’t want anybody else. I want you! I love you!”

His heart was overflowing with misery, hearing those three words that spoke of promises meant to be broken. Oh, how he wanted to give in to those words.

“Quit thinking with your dick for one second, you stupid brat! People don’t fall in love overnight! You may think you’re in love right now, but wait a couple of months…hell, maybe even a couple of days. You’re not in love with me, kid. You’ll figure that out soon enough. This, whatever this is…It’s fucking wrong! Forget this ever happened.”

“No! You don’t understand. I know I love you. There’s nothing wrong about love! I’ve been waiting for you my whole life! We were made for each other!”

_Made for each other?_

Levi scoffed. Careless words from an unmindful child. He had to painfully remember that. The brat had obviously been watching too many Korean soap operas. “Stop acting like a child, and go home, Eren!”

But the tenacious kid refused to give up. “You don’t understand…”

They both fell silent for a while. Levi hoped the young boy would just leave, but he knew that Eren was still right behind the door, forehead probably pressed against the painted wood with tears spilling from his beautiful green eyes. He was hurting just the same, but it would be terribly wrong of him to do anything. He couldn't lose his license, and he couldn't give in to his desires.

Levi felt nothing but regret. Why did he kiss Eren? Why did he succumb to his hideous desires? How could he do that to such a young person?

He just wanted to head back to his room and shut himself away from the rest of the world forever. He didn't want to feel anymore pain. He was fine by himself. He was fine all alone. He wouldn't have to feel the sorrow if he didn't get close to anyone, if he didn’t expect anything from anyone.

But he just had to give in and make such an awful mistake. He was weak and lonely, and he wanted to love. He wanted love just like any other person would. Stupid, wonderful, pointless love…but he couldn't have love. Not with all the foolishness and sadness that came with it.

_No…It doesn't have to be that way. Not with me…_

His eyes widened at the sound of Eren’s voice echoing through his head. He looked back at the white wood separating them and slowly felt his mind unravel.  
  
“Levi, open the door.”

It was an order, words so absolute that they rattled deep within Levi’s bones. The familiar, sweet haze returned, lifting the heavy emotions from his chest and coaxing him into a blissful state of submission. His fingers mindlessly unlocked the bolt, opening the door to bright teal eyes glowing in unquestionable sovereignty.

“Listen to me.”

He nodded quietly, thoughts completely open and pliant to anything Eren had to say. What was so wrong about this again? He wasn't quite sure anymore, because all he wanted to do was look into the gorgeous shade of green before him.

“I’ll do as you say. I’ll leave…” the boy stated woefully, voice incredibly smooth - delectably vibrating deep inside Levi’s core. “I’ll think about everything you’ve said, exactly how you want me to. I’m sorry it had to be this way, but I have to protect you, and it hurts that you won’t let me. In the meantime, please stay safe. That’s all I will ask of you.”

“Yes, Eren.” Yes. He wanted to please Eren. He’d give Eren anything and everything he could ever ask for.

“In time, I know you’ll understand. I’ll explain everything to you. Just please, please don’t get hurt. I would do anything for you, Levi.”

_I feel the same…I would do anything for you…_

It was Eren himself who shut the door, smiling sadly with a longing in his eyes. The sound of the door closing snapped Levi out of his euphoric haze. Everything was clear and sharp again but not as vibrant as it had been minutes ago.

What the fuck had just happened?

 

* * *

 

  
Eren’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, eyeing the petite blonde standing next to him.

“I told you I had no intention of hurting him,” he whispered, not wanting Levi to hear anything from behind the door.

The female stayed silent, glaring at him venomously with eyes as red as blood. Her grip tightened on the carving knife she hid behind her thigh, ready to attack at any second. All it took was one move…

Though she looked like a typical, harmless housewife in her frilly pink apron and fluffy bunny slippers, Eren knew better.

“ _Petra_ ,” her name escaped his lips like a displeased master warning his wayward servant. “Drop your weapon. I’m not here to fight.”

She hissed at him, baring her sharp fangs, despite knowing who he was and what he was capable of doing. “Get out of my head, you foul beast!”

The tall boy glowered at her, eyes bright and menacing. Though she held her ground, the small woman could not hide the fear that flashed across her features for less than a second. Any regular human wouldn’t have noticed, but Eren was no ordinary human.

“Then do not get in my way.”

 

 

 

  
End of Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite part in Chapter 2 was actually the conversation between Eren and Petra. They have the same goal as far as Levi is concerned, but that's it. They both want two drastically different things to happen, and both situations would have dire consequences no matter which way it goes. Levi will be a clueless little lovable bunny for a while.


	3. A Little Thing Called Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really hoping everyone has been enjoying this fic so far! I appreciate every single kudos, bookmark, and subscription this fic gets. I apologize for the updates getting slower since I've been dealing with a lot of bs from our company. That, plus I am also studying for a bunch of stuff related to both work and school. I am still going to do my best to get each chapter out as soon as possible. Please stay tuned! All the vampire and werewolf fun will be here soon!

Chapter 3 - A Little Thing Called Friendship

 

_His dreams were changing._

_Blood was dripping from the sky, thick and scalding against his pale skin. Streaming tears mixed with all the red running down his face. How he hated this never ending nightmare…all this torment…_

_He was crying for all the lost souls. None of them deserved to die, but it was he who led them to their deaths. He trembled against the dead tree, hugging the sleeping child tighter against his chest._

_I’ll protect you. I promise I will. I promise._

_He kissed the child’s forehead lovingly, cracked lips against cool skin._

_Why are you so cold, little one?_

_He wrapped the blanket tighter around the small body, afraid that the poor thing would wake up too soon. The sweet little one didn't deserve to see any of this destruction. He had to remain pure and unknowing of how ugly the world truly was. Nothing was more important to him than the tiny person in his arms._

_Let’s get you home._

_He shakily stood up, his entire body weak and exhausted, and yet a smile still graced his lips. Finally, they could go home. Finally…_

_His fingers gently stroked the little boy’s cheek, waiting for tiny lips to curl in delight despite his deep slumber, but the child remained limp in his arms._

_Hey, what’s wrong?_

_Then, he noticed all the blood that caked the blanket. He could taste it in his mouth too, sweet and coppery against his tongue._

_No…wait…_

_A crippling sense of dread slowly devoured his entire form, and that was when he realized that the child’s heart was no longer beating._

 

 

 

Levi shot up from his bed in agony, sobbing so hard that he could barely breathe. The pain of losing the precious angel in his arms felt so vivid. That had been the most tortuous dream so far - to see his beautiful little one dead and to be the reason why. He refused to go back to sleep to relive the horror.

He clutched his chest, sighing as his crying came to an eventual halt. He felt pathetic, bawling so helplessly at his age. Nothing ever helped - changing his sleep schedule, listening to soothing music, therapy, hypnosis, nothing.

The taste of metal in his dry mouth forced him to get up and use the bathroom. He’d probably bit his tongue in his sleep again, which reminded him that he needed to pick up a tongue guard from Dr. Dietrich’s office soon.

He spit into the white porcelain sink, observing the blood mix in with the running water and disappear into the drain. He kept rinsing his mouth, until he stopped spitting red, and determined that now was a good time to brush his teeth.

The sight of sharp fangs in the mirror startled him, but when he took a closer look, blinking the tiredness away, they were gone. His canines were exactly where they were supposed to be, dull and short.

Levi proceeded to brush his teeth, ignoring what he deemed as sleep-deprived hallucinations. He had enough energy to work, and that was all he really needed.

After a quick shower, he started preparing early for work that night. Since he still had a couple hours before his shift, the doctor resigned to having some tea and a quick bite to eat first.

Usually, he would head to his favorite tea shop and read a book while enjoying the calming scents of different teas brewing. Unfortunately, the elderly woman who owned the shop was still at the hospital, so Levi knew it wouldn’t be open. He genuinely missed the little old lady. Mrs. Fritz was the only tea sommelier in Sina, and she knew how to make amazing blackberry pocket pies (even better than Petra’s). But Levi loved her for her cheerful disposition the most. They would talk whenever she wasn't busy tending to other customers, and frankly, the old woman was one in a handful of people that Levi could tolerate. Their chats were always pleasant. She was never too inquisitive nor was she ever too self-absorbed, and she was always imparting some sort of wisdom to him in the gentlest way possible.

Mrs. Fritz even treated him as if he were her own grandchild, and sometimes, Levi wished he was, because he certainly visited her more often than her own family members did. He offered to let her stay with him once, worried about her living by herself, but the old lady refused, saying she needed the extra space and room for when her children and grandchildren finally visited. The thought made his heart ache. In some ways, they were both alike - having been abandoned by their families, but Levi hoped their lonely paths would diverge as soon as possible, in that her family would actually care enough to see her again. Levi had given up on his own family a long time ago.

The doctor opened his fridge, noting that it was completely empty and made a mental reminder to do some grocery shopping on his next day off. He spotted the cherry pie that Petra had given him the day before, sitting prettily on his kitchen counter. She’d been baking him different desserts every week since he first moved into the apartment complex. The tiny housewife had always been generous and would never ask for anything in return, except for an ear to listen to her usual rambling. She was so up to date with current events that Levi never bothered reading the newspapers anymore. Every now and then she would veer off into uninteresting topics like the latest gossip in town, but everything else always remained pertinent.

Levi had started off with a single slice, but the hunger that he’d been suppressing for such a long time had ultimately caught up to him. He dug straight into the pie, savoring the tart and sweet flavors mingling on his tastebuds in a joyful dance, but he wasn't satiated until he had finished the entire thing in one sitting. As much as he had tried to stay clean, his famished state had left the counter a complete mess. There was bright red all over his mouth and fingers as well. Maybe the stress of his night terrors was starting to affect his appetite.

The taste of copper in his mouth returned after he’d finished cleaning up. Thinking that he’d accidentally bit down on his tongue again while eating, he scurried to the bathroom to alleviate the damage, but upon inspecting his orifice in the mirror again, there was no blood visible on the moist, pink organ.

_Hmm…strange…_

 

* * *

 

 

It took three weeks for Mrs. Fritz to get Dr. Springer’s approval to go home. In those three weeks of her hospitalization, no one could get a hold of any of her relatives. Though she received guests every now and then, it had been Levi who spent most of his free time with her, tending to her needs and bringing her different sources of entertainment.

She never complained about none of her kin visiting. Instead, she happily thanked Levi each and every time he came to see her, offering him words of encouragement and endless smiles despite her post-surgical state. The woman was just as exuberant as she was before the operation. The doctor admired her for her continuous buoyancy, quite a stark contrast compared to his bitter self. He guessed it could be due to her old age. The elderly were always more appreciative of life and all the simple things they could enjoy before their time was up. After all, who would want to die miserable and resentful?

“We can visit the art gallery this weekend, Mrs. Fritz,” Levi stated, remembering the promise he’d made to her while she was confined. “They have a special art exhibit from Eldian High.”

The old lady held on to him as he escorted her into her home. He guided her to a chair, removing her garment bag from his shoulder so he could take her shoes off for her.

“Oh, Levi, that would be so wonderful!” she answered. “I haven’t been to the gallery in years.”

Luckily, Levi had that very Saturday off, and he wasn’t about to let the chance slip. Flu season was closing in on them, and the doctor knew that he wouldn’t be getting another weekend day off anytime soon.

“Will any of your prospects be joining us?”

The sudden question made him flinch, recalling the wonderfully vibrant shade of teal that made his heartbeat quicken. Her choice of words were rather off, but he was certain that by saying ‘prospects’ she meant potential partners. That was the first time she’d ever questioned him about his nonexistent love life. He swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat, focusing his attention on stirring the vegetable soup cooking on the stove.

“I don’t have any at the moment,” he retorted, feeling a rush of heat spread across his face. He didn't know why he was feeling particularly bashful at the moment, but it had been a while since he’d thought about Eren. The teenage boy was really the only one who could make him feel this way.

The old lady made no further comments, preferring instead to give him a sly, knowing look throughout the evening.

Levi realized why a couple of days later.

 

* * *

 

 

He hadn't expected there to be so many people visiting the art gallery this weekend, but considering that the special event involved self-centered high school students and their equally obnoxious parents, Levi could understand why there’d be such a huge turnout. Especially since this exhibit would only be up for 3 days.

It also helped that one of the students who contributed to the exhibit was Armin Arlert - heir to the world renowned Arlert Engineering Co., a company that built the city of Sina from ground up over centuries ago. People were always happy to be inordinately intrusive about filthy rich heirs and their plight with societal pressures.

The doctor stared up at the colossal painting that literally stood from ceiling to floor, eyes rolling at the parents snickering at Arlert’s interpretation of “Beauty From Within” - the actual theme of the whole exhibit. The student had painted a face of man without skin or lips to hide the white cartilage and bold red muscle, quite shocking at first to see, but as Levi kept staring into the skinless man’s clouded eyes and threatening snarl, he could feel the artist’s inner rage travel through the painting. Though he’d never seen the young Arlert before, he could guess that this was a self-portrait of sorts, maybe even an attempt to convey a less-than-friendly message to the people who wished for his downfall. The doctor couldn't help but applaud the daring heir.

“How talented young people are these days!” Mrs. Fritz commented. They’d been there for almost half an hour, weaving their way through the crowds gathered in front of various paintings to see one masterpiece after another.

In no way had he expected all the paintings to be so artistic and marvelous to look at, and most of them were as breathtaking and as shocking as Arlert’s was. Each student had used a different style of painting, reflecting different eras of art history with their techniques and manipulation of the colors. He would've never guessed that a group of high school kids were so artistically skilled and capable of making these wonders.

So far, Levi’s favorite piece was a painting created by a student named Marco Bott. It was black and white and carried an incredible weight of melancholy. Bott’s painting also seemed like a self-portrait, only his depicted the left half a freckle-faced person with their eye closed, smiling peacefully as his hand stretched out, while the other half of their body had only a bit of skeleton covered in dissipating smoke. It was more difficult to decipher compared to Arlert’s work, but the doctor didn't mind the mental challenge.

Mrs. Fritz’s favorite was from another student named Thomas Wagner. His contemporary painting was of a grand tree against a black background, but instead of its usual leaves and branches, Wagner’s tree was filled with different blotches of colors splattered everywhere. The positions of the blotchy circles looked both random and intentional at the same time, giving it a messy yet wondrous effect that Levi had never seen before.

The end of the exhibit was drawing near, with only a few paintings left to look at. The doctor quietly finished his glass of grape juice, thankful that the gallery wasn't serving any alcohol that night. He didn't need another embarrassing chapter to add to his book of shame. Besides, the next person who might bring him home may not be as trustworthy as Eren was. The short male paused at the sudden thought, brushing it away as soon as it came. He certainly wasn't helping himself thinking about a boy way too young for him.

While looking at Historia’s Reiss painting of a blue-eyed angel, Mrs. Fritz had sneakily disappeared from his side, most likely to get her hands on a few canapés that were restricted from her diet, and Levi needed to get to her before she could devour one too many salty treats. Scanning the crowds, he started getting worried, briskly passing through the swarm of rich parents and waiters with different snacks on their trays. He even checked the restroom, politely asking one of the female students to see if an old lady in a purple dress was inside. The girl checked every stall to no avail.

Levi eventually found himself at the start of the exhibit with still no sign of the old woman. Now, he was panicking. He could never forgive himself if something happened to the old woman. He should've kept a closer eye on her, fearing all sorts of things that could've happened to her.

“Oh, Levi! There you are!” he heard the old woman call from behind him. Lo and behold, Mrs. Fritz was smiling at him, hands perched on the arm of the one person Levi had been dreading to run into for the past few weeks.

“Hello, Levi,” Eren said, dressed in a waiter’s uniform with teal eyes brightened in excitement. “Mrs. Fritz got lost and needed help finding her chaperone.”

The doctor could only stare back at both of them in disbelief, wondering if the universe really hated him this much. Eren’s unexpected presence made him feel lightheaded and weak. The fragrant scent of lavender and sandalwood seemed to accompany the boy everywhere he went, bringing with it the sinful memories of what were better left buried.

“I’ll just let you know right now, Levi, that Eren here is one of the finest gentlemen I’ve ever met,” Mrs. Fritz started, patting the boy’s arm while giving Levi a wink that made him groan. He knew exactly what the sly woman was trying to do. “He’s on the honor roll, a member of the basketball team, and his father is-”

“And he’s _sixteen_ ,” Levi interrupted, unsure of whether he was actually reminding her or reminding himself. He looked up at Eren, not really meaning to glare but he knew nothing good would come of them being near each other. “And he should probably get back to work.”

The tall boy gave him a frown and didn't answer, making the doctor feel guiltier.

Mrs. Fritz clicked her tongue. “Young man, don't be so prude. He’s not going to be sixteen forever. You can ride below the crupper in two years time!”

Her unabashed statement made the doctor go entirely red with absolute mortification, unable to muster a reply because how the fuck does someone respond to that level of provocation?

Eren wasn't making it any better either.

“Ride the what?” the brown-haired teen asked innocently, curiosity well-written on his features. Of course the little shit wouldn't know what the phrase meant, and that only made Levi feel worse about his age.

The elderly lady giggled, giving the boy a light slap in the arm. “Pardon my ancient language. I do believe, these days, people your age would call it ana-”

“Time to go home, you dirty old woman,” Levi growled, grabbing hold of Mrs. Fritz’s hand and dragging her away from the still confused teen. The shade of red slowly dissipated from his face, but his heart was still pounding from the shame. This had been an apparently bad idea on his part to begin with. Their city had only one high school, so there would be an incredibly high chance of Eren coming to the exhibit.

Their hired driver rode up to the entrance right as they were heading out. While they were waiting for the car to halt, the doctor noticed that Eren had followed them out, grinning like an idiot.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi demanded, holding the door open as his elderly companion slowly entered the car. “Aren’t you supposed to be working in there?”

Eren’s broad smile only widened further. “Shift’s over. Mrs. Fritz wanted me to go with you guys so she can give me some tea leaves to try.”

Steel blue eyes narrowed at the beaming old woman, before he finally sighed in defeat. This was all really his fault for saying he had no romantic interests at the moment. Mrs. Fritz had always been kind to him. She was probably just thinking she was doing him a favor by setting him up with someone. He should have lied to the grandmother and told her he was married or some shit. “Fine, whatever. Get in the damn car.”

On the way back to Mrs. Fritz’s house, Levi kept his eyes forward while riding in the front seat. He simply refused to make eye contact with either passenger in the back, seeing as the old woman wouldn't stop gushing over how adorable Eren was. Really, there was no disagreeing with her about that. Levi knew exactly how attractive Eren was, but that didn't mean he was going to admit it to anyone out loud.

Thankfully, the ride had been a short one.

Mrs. Fritz offered for them to come in, but the raven-haired male was adamantly against the idea, mainly because he didn't want to keep the old lady up past her bedtime.

So instead, he and Eren waited outside the gate of her home while she fetched a few of her tea tins.

Levi still refused to look up at the boy, preferring to keep his eyes on the single scuff mark on his leather shoe in distaste. Neither of them spoke, but it didn't seem to bother Eren. The teen simply kept his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels while happily humming the tune of a song the older male didn't recognize.

_What the fuck are you so happy about?_

“It’s surprisingly nice out tonight,” Eren suddenly spoke, inching closer to his companion.

The sudden movement made Levi step away immediately, flinching when his eyes shot up and met the brazenly vibrant color of teal. He’d never met anyone with the same shade before, but even if he had, no one else could ever mess with his emotions the way Eren’s eyes did. Nothing had changed in the last few weeks they hadn't seen each other, he thought pitifully. He could feel the threads of his self-control loosening, craving something so dark and sweet.

No, he wouldn't let himself give in to his inappropriate desires. Instead, he snarled at the boy, but Eren obstinately kept gazing at him with such glee anyway, making him feel uncomfortably warm deep down in his belly.

“Didn’t your parents teach you that it’s fucking rude to stare?” Levi answered sharply.

Eren chuckled lightly. “Not when you’re staring at something beautiful.”

The boy earned a glare in return. “Oh shut the fuck up! That cheesy shit only works on girls, you stupid brat.”

“Then what works on you?”

Levi winced, feeling his heart start racing once again. “Eren, I told you-”

“I know,” the teen interjected. “I did what you asked of me. I stayed away, because you told me to. I thought about how…wrong…it would be. You and me. It wouldn't look good to anybody. Age gap and all.”

The doctor nodded, crushing the small twinge of sadness that crept inside his chest. It was all for the best, for both his and Eren’s sake. “I’m glad you’ve made sense of the situation.”

Eren nodded happily. “I have, and I think we should be friends.”

The two remained quiet for a moment, with the doctor taken aback by the suggestion. It took him a good few seconds to recover from the shock, quite vexed by the teen’s expectant staring.

“You…want to be… _friends_?” Levi scoffed at the ridiculousness of the notion.

The boy’s brows furrowed, smile disappearing. “Well why not? We get along just fine, and you’d be such a good influence on me. My family would love you.”

“Your family? What the fuck, Eren? I’m not going to meet your family!”

“But you will eventually!”

Levi crossed his arms over his chest, seething. “They’re not going to look at me and think we’re fucking best friends forever, you little shit. They’re going to see me as some creepy pedophile trying to lure their virtuous son into a fucking sex cult.”

“They won’t. If I tell them we’re just friends, they’ll listen to me,” Eren argued, eyes glistening in determination.

“Your parents have that much trust in what you say?”

“Yes. I would never lie to them.”

Levi could sense the truth in his words. He knew Eren had a kind soul to him, and that was probably why his parents trusted him so much. But the weight of what he wanted wasn't something even loving parents could oversee.

  
“Tch. So that’s what we’re gonna be, Eren? Friends?”

“Well… until maybe we can be something more…”

_Of course, this stupid brat still hasn't given up._

The doctor sighed, not mentioning his realization. “And what would your parents think then? They’re still gonna see me as the pedophile who waited until you were legal enough to fuck.”

Blatantly frustrated, the boy took a few steps forward. “Levi, please just trust me.”

“No, Eren,” he retorted, this time standing his ground, hands clenched at his side. “We’re not going to be friends, and that’s final.”

His words made something shift in Eren’s eyes, making Levi’s chest tighten, and with it, the teen’s voice lowered into a pained hush. “So…you don't want to have anything to do with me? At all.”

Levi swallowed, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. “It would never work out.”

“How would you know? Really how would you know it wouldn’t?” The questions came with an almost childish tone, coaxing an annoyed glare from the doctor.

“And how would you know it would?”

Eren took another step forward, now just inches away from his companion, and peered down at the shorter male with an undaunted expression. “Because I know it will.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Of course, you do. You’re a teenager. You think you know everything, but you don’t know shit about the world and how ugly it can be.”

“I know how _beautiful_ it can be though. I believe in fate and how everything happens for a reason. I wish you would too.”

Before he could answer, Eren had grabbed hold of his face, hands hot and soothing against his skin. His body felt like it had been set afire, tingling pleasurably at the otherwise innocent gesture. He felt a thumb rub against his right cheek, softly caressing the area. That tiniest bit of touch felt so incredible…so right even though it was all wrong.

“Be my friend, Levi. If that’s all we can be…if that’s all we’ll ever be…I’d rather have that than live my whole life without you…”

Up close, he could see his reflection staring back at him in Eren’s eyes - beautiful teal glowing against the moonlight. Levi bit his lip. “You’re still on that stupid love bullshit.”

The boy shook his head. “I will never force you into a romantic relationship. I would never want to make you unhappy.”

“What if becoming friends…keeping a connection… will make me unhappy?”

Eren gave him a sad, agonizing smile. “Then I will stay away from you forever. Would that make you happy, Levi?”

The words hit him hard, as he tried to mask the pain of those words behind a composed exterior.

He’d lived long enough without Eren in his life to know he didn't need him, and they’d only known each other for such a short period of time. Really, the brat wouldn't have made a significant impact in Levi’s life with his absence. The words should've fell off his tongue quite easily. All he had to do was say ‘yes’ and end this messy affair once and for all, but Levi couldn’t find it in himself to do so.

He had to painfully admit to himself that the longer he was around the brat, the stronger the pull he felt towards him. Eren was like a magnet - his voice, his smile, his lack of reason and unrelenting determination, his eyes - all tantalizing and sucking him into a sinking hole of impending doom. There was so much at stake…so many risks.

Was he so hungry for love and affection that it was preventing him from doing the right thing? The obviously right thing written out in plain sight from the start?

His piteous state was laughable. All he’d done was repress everything he’d felt the moment he found out about Eren’s age. He should’ve expected the universe to toy with him like this. It wasn't enough that it had taken away his family and his memories of whatever life he had before his accident. No, fate wanted to give him the ultimate kick in the balls by dangling love in his face, only for the object of his affection to be half his age. Any sense of vibrancy just had to be doused in bleakness. That was the life he was meant to live.

Would it be cruel for him to admit that he wanted the same thing Eren did and more? To have him in his life? To bask in his warmth and treasure every one of his gorgeous smiles whenever he could? To be lost in those teal eyes and pray they would never look at anyone else the same way they looked at Levi?

Levi grimaced at the thought of his loathsome selfishness, already regretting the words he was about to say.

“Fine, you stupid brat. We can be _friends_ …”

 

 

  
End of Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The friendship scene was definitely inspired by Margo Robbie's lines in The Wolf of Wallstreet. Let's see where Eren and Levi's friendship will take them! It'll be a while till they finally get to fuck, but I promise they will fuck.
> 
> Fun fact: The working title for this fic was Mon Eternite, but I changed it at the last minute because well... Before I Die had deeper meaning for the story than My Eternity. Before who dies, you ask? You'll find out soon enough.


	4. Howling

Chapter 4 - Howling

 

 

Dr. Levi wasn't supposed to go to work until later that evening, but the blaring sound of the cellphone on his desk startled him out of his shallow slumber. Yanking off the fluffy, white eye mask (courtesy of Eren) covering his face, he let out a few curse words as he rushed out of bed to answer the call.

Just as he’d expected, the glowing screen displayed the number of his emergency room, which he’d memorized by heart after working there for so long. A heavy feeling sank uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. It was never a good sign when he got a call on his day off, especially at two in the morning.

It wasn’t entirely unexpected, since something was bound to happen sooner or later, especially after an uncharacteristically peaceful two months where he’d enjoyed his rare days off, unburdened by the on-call roster.

“What happened?” he said gruffly against the speaker.

“There’s been a car accident, Dr. Ackerman!” the frazzled nurse screeched into the phone.

Levi was already getting dressed, grimacing at the level of the nurse’s voice. “How many?”

“1 critical, 2 with serious bleeding, and the others are still on the way!”

“Right,” was all he had to say before hanging up. There wasn't anymore time for useless chatter. All he knew was that he had to get to those patients as quickly as possible.

His feet carried him to the hospital as fast as they could. He was quite fortunate enough to have an apartment that was well within a 10 minute walk to his workplace, but Levi had made it there in 4. Adrenaline was pumping so strongly through his body that he was barely even huffing.

Another ambulance arrived in the emergency bay as soon as he had. The EMTs carefully and swiftly unloaded the unconscious patient that was bleeding all over the gurney. Levi’s eyes widened at the extent of the person’s injuries.

All that his mind was processing at the moment was _blood, blood, blood everywhere_ \- the sickening fluid gushing through tightly packed gauze and bandage.

There was a faint ringing in his ears, mixed with pain in the back of his head. He blamed the loud blaring of the ambulance’s sirens. His steel blue eyes were fixed on the vehement color of red, making him tremble with an emotion he couldn't fathom. This was not the first time he’d witness so much blood in real life, and the feeling was not foreign to him. But it was still something he could barely describe. 

Whatever it was, it made the adrenaline course through his veins faster.

The doctor pushed past the surrounding health team to check for a pulse, ignoring the protests that were silenced by their realization of who he was. When he felt nothing, the doctor immediately jumped on top of the gurney and initiated chest compressions. Gloves be damned.

“Get us in there right now!” he ordered, prompting them to start pushing the patient through the emergency entrance.

Dr. Sadies, his alternate, was the doctor currently on shift, and much to his horrible luck, the ER was already a full house that night. Apparently, Dr. Zacharias was on sick leave, so the entire load of the emergency room had been on Sadies for the past seven hours. Of course, both him and Levi have been in worse situations, going so far as working 47 hours straight at one point. But doctors were humans too and going for so long without sleep only put them at a higher risk of committing medical errors.

The other doctor was busy with the critical patient, already in the process of defibrillation.

“You should’ve called me sooner, fucker!” Levi cried, passing by his colleague as the EMTs wheeled him and the patient into a different trauma room.

Sure enough, it was a horrible early morning for the both of them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh, Levi!” Dr. Zoe gushed behind her desk, swiveling in her chair with childish exuberance. “I haven’t seen you in so long! How’s your love life? Any progress lately?”

The small doctor cringed, snorting in response with arms crossed over his chest in defiance. “I feel no need to distract myself with such banal things like love.”

“Of course you wouldn't! You’re far too busy working all the time, and after everything that happened last night, it must be taking a toll on your delicate mind!” she exclaimed, jumping over the desk in an attempt to envelope him in an unwanted hug.

But Levi stopped her in time with a shoe to the face, pushing her away hard enough to get her back into her chair. “Don’t touch me, you repulsive woman!”

The woman toppled over and onto the floor, groaning painfully before falling into a disturbing fit of laughter. “Just like old times!!! I thought I was the only one feeling so nostalgic lately!”

He cringed, doing his best not to reminisce all the times she’d tried to hug him when he first arrived at the CMC. Typical Hange couldn’t understand why he kept kicking her in the face until he threatened to file a sexual harassment complaint against her.

“Please fucking get your shit together so I can get the fuck out here.”

“Alright, alright, shorty.” The female doctor stood up and sat back down into her seat, face quickly transforming into a stony expression. “Are you ready, Dr. Ackerman?”

Levi nodded, legs crossing in a more comfortable position.

Dr. Zoe started the routine task of asking him a series of typical behavioral health questions used in debriefing patients who’ve recently experienced traumatic events. The entire health team on shift that night had to attend her counseling, as ordered by the Medical Director. As an Emergency Room doctor, this was nothing new to him. He’d had his fair share of psychiatric visits, besides those that involved his inability to sleep. He knew for certain that Dr. Hange Zoe was an expert in her field, being one of the most sought after doctors in their country. Even though she could offer no help for his perpetual lack of sleep, Levi knew that there were medical problems even the greatest, most talented doctors couldn't fix. His specific condition was out of her hands, but he liked giving her crap about it anyway.

Like him, the excessively jovial woman chose to stay with the CMC in their gloomy little city of Sina. Her personal reason, however, was to take care of family - much more sensible than his own private and stupid reason for gravity holding him here. (It was probably something he had to bring up with her for the sake of his mental health, but he didn't want to risk being sent to the loony bin.)

“Did seeing all that blood make you feel good?”

Levi’s head snapped up at the sudden question in confusion. “Excuse me?”

The question wasn't part of the routine questions she usually asked. For a moment, the male doctor thought she was joking around again, but the seriousness in her expression told him otherwise. “I said, ‘did seeing all that blood make you feel good?’.”

“Fuck no. It was disgusting,” he answered curtly, mouth going dry.

“Have you always felt disgusted at the sight of blood?” she prodded, hand lazily jotting down notes on her clipboard.

“No.” His grip tightened on the chair’s arms. The room was starting to feel smaller and smaller.

“How does blood make you feel when you aren’t disgusted with it?”

Their eyes stayed locked in a strained gaze. He could see her light brown eyes tingling in anticipation. For whatever reason, she seemed so interested in hearing his answer to this specifically intrusive and uncomfortable question. That is, her job was to ask all these probing questions, but this was the first time they’d made him feel so tense.

Dealing with blood was an inevitable part of life as a doctor. The liquid was revolting, in all honesty, what with all the diseases it could secretly harbor, and yet, it was an absolute necessity in human survival.

His thoughts flitted to his gruesome dreams…his precious little one…

“ _Scared_ ,” the word tumbled out of his lips before he could stop himself.

The movement of pen against paper continued. “So you’re saying…blood _scares_ you…”

Levi frowned, wanting nothing more than to get out of the room. The air was getting too thick and suffocating. “Yes… Can I fucking go now?”

Dr. Zoe hesitated for a moment, lips pressing into a thin, taut line. He could tell she was holding herself back from saying something (probably something stupid or crude if he really knew her), but her mouth eventually twisted into a wide, strained smile.

“Of course, Dr. Ackerman, that’s all I need from you today.”

 

 

* * *

 

  
He was looking forward to heading home that afternoon. Even though he had to go back to work later that night, it was enough time to grab some food, because holy fuck he was famished. It was probably from all the running around he’d done that early morning. He rarely had a set schedule for meals, and more often that not, he’d skip meals all together or eat whatever Petra had baked for him that week. He wasn't any good at cooking, and he preferred going to Mrs. Fritz’s tea shop to satisfy his cravings for her freshly brewed concoctions. That, plus she served the best array of small snacks he would happily eat for the rest of his life.

The doctor wasn't totally surprised when he ran into a certain Eren Kruger on the way to his building. Ever since they established their ‘friendship’ on the night of the art exhibit, the tall teenager religiously visited him in his apartment every single afternoon. Levi honestly didn't mind his company. The brat was surprisingly nice to talk to, despite the age gap. He would've never thought that they’d have so much to talk about, and as long as they maintained a good distance from each other, he could manage the swirl of emotions and the lightheadedness that threatened to plague him whenever Eren was around. After all, Levi was the adult, and he knew better.

“I thought you didn't work today,” Eren said thoughtfully, glancing down at his watch to check the time. “Did they call you in last night?”

“Yeah, car crash on 9th street,” he answered, peering up at the brunet still dressed in his black school uniform.

“Damn. I think Horse Face mentioned something about that this morning.”

“You mean Jean?”

Though he had never met any of Eren’s friends, Levi was sort of familiar with some of their names and characteristics.

The teen grinned. “Yeah! You remembered!”

He turned away with an eye roll. “It’s because you fucking whine about him all the time.”

“I don’t whine!”

Levi almost wanted to snicker at how red Eren’s face had gotten, but then he suddenly recalled that they had stopped to talk in front of a goddamn crosswalk, and people were staring.

“Did everyone come out okay though?” the boy quickly changed the topic.

The doctor nodded in return, shifting uncomfortably at the sight of a few strange glances that came their way.

“You’re amazing, you know?”

The way the teen had said the compliment, voice low and warm, made Levi want to blush. “It wasn't just me. Dr. Sadies and the nurses had the worst of it.”

Eren offered him another toothy-grin. “How about we ditch these nosy fuckers and get something to eat in The District then? Have you ever had bubble tea?”

The smaller male gave him a sour look but was nonetheless thankful that the brat had caught a whiff of the source of his uneasiness. “Bubble…tea?”

“Yeah! I know you love tea so maybe we could try something a little different,” was the teen’s generous offer.

Levi wasn't very comfortable with the idea of walking around with Eren in The District. That was where all the young people loved to eat lunch and hang out after school. It was a fairly new and quaint area near the hospital, filled with gourmet food stalls and restaurants with a wide selection of cuisines to choose from. There’d be a very good chance that Eren’s peers would be there, and no doubt, those spoiled kids would be as nosy as their rich parents were.

“I don’t think-”

“I think this’ll be fun! I know a place you’ll like!” Eren apparently wasn’t having any of his excuses today, grabbing hold of the shorter man’s arm and leading him away from the path to his apartment.

“The fuck, Eren?” The doctor growled but didn't try to make a scene. He knew if he kicked the teenager in the balls and ran away, people would only start snooping around even more.

“It’s just gonna be you and me. Two friends who need to spend more time together.”

They ended up at a little shop with white lettering on the windows that spelled out ‘CHAA STATION’. The place wasn't abuzz like the other snack shops. Instead, the ambience was very calm and its patrons were quiet in their seats reading books or typing away on their computers.

“I used to help out here when it first opened,” Eren explained, still dragging Levi by the arm towards the order and pick up area. “They have authentic Taiwanese snacks and vegan options, and their drinks are legit. Not just sugary crap and powder.”

The doctor glanced at the modest menu. Unlike Mrs. Fritz shop, Chaa Station had very limited tea options. There were some that Levi recognized like Oolong and Matcha, but he had no idea what Glowing Tea and Cheese Foam Tea were. He also had no idea why people would want to add tapioca balls and coffee jelly to their teas. Why were those things even on the menu? What the hell was lychee, and why was that on the menu? He knew about how some people put milk in their teas, but what was the exact ratio of tea to dairy? What was 100% sugar supposed to mean? The percentages just didn't make any sense. Did they mean 100% pure sugar? Did that mean that 50% sugar was also 50% of something else like crack?

“Sorry, it’s his first time here,” he heard Eren say, before looking down from the hanging menu.

There was grumpy-looking teen at the register, fingers tapping away impatiently on the marble counter. She was tall and tanned with dark reddish-brown hair styled in a ponytail and freckles dotted across her nose. Somehow, she looked familiar, with the way her silver, wintry eyes stood out from the rest of her warm features. “I don’t have all day, you son of a bitch.”

Levi was about to say something nastier in retaliation but swiftly realized that the insult had been directed at Eren. The fact didn't lessen his annoyance one bit, but he refrained from intervening, because he didn't know exactly what kind of relationship dynamic these two had.

The teenage boy just chuckled in return. “I didn't know we talked to customers that way know.”

“You’re only considered a customer after you pay,” the female seethed. Her statement was wrong on so many levels of customer care, but she never gave a damn about anyone anyway.

“So moody, Ymir. Is it because Krista can’t come to work today?”

Ymir and Krista. Levi had heard about them from his teen companion before. They were both in his class, along with Jean, and the two females were a couple, much to the dismay of their school’s male population. Krista was evidently one of the most popular girls in school with her blonde hair, blue eyes, overall sweet personality, and cute demeanor. He silently wondered whether Eren had ever felt attracted to her, but just as he always seemed to know what was on Levi’s mind, the boy firmly reassured him that she’d always been just a friend and nothing more.

The two classmates kept bickering until the drinks and food came out of the kitchen. He and Eren squabbled over the bill for a bit, with the younger male eventually letting Levi pay after the doctor promised he could pay next time they went out. Next time. Eren was elated at the prospect of another friend-date, which was already a given since it was near impossible to avoid running into each other. They were long past that route of evasion. Besides, being around Eren was nice, he irrevocably admitted to himself. The boy was always bubbling with energy and merriment without ever being irksome. Levi seriously hoped the harshness of the real world wouldn't change the way he was now.

Levi eyed the Chinese pork buns Eren had ordered in distaste, watching a mixture of pork juice and blood stain the sides of the immaculately white bun. “This looks really rare.”

“I asked them to make it that way. Tastes a lot better,” he answered through sips of his taro and coconut milk tea.

The raven-haired male took a tentative bite, chewing thoughtfully before his features brightened at the savory and slightly sweet flavor. “It's good!”

“Try the Glowing tea too.”

Levi took a sip, taste buds perking up at the sweet and sour mixture that glowed in an unworldly hue of blue and red. “This is good too.”

“I knew you would like it here,” Eren spoke through hooded eyes, leering at his friend with a deep fondness. His hand absentmindedly traveled to the side of Levi’s lip, wiping away the remnants of blood.

The doctor looked back at him in shock, swatting the intruding hand away. “Cut it out, brat!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” His hands retreated back to his drink, face painted in embarrassment. “It won’t happen again.”

He shook his head, waving the gesture off as he fervently sucked on his cold drink. He hadn't realized how hot it was in the shop until Eren had touched his skin.

“It’s fine…”

Before they left, Eren returned to the counter to say goodbye to Ymir. The girl offered him less than kind words as she demanded he get the hell out of her shop. What surprised Levi though, was before they parted ways, Eren had placed a hand behind her head, closing the distance between them in a rather intimate way.

His eyes widened in horror, believing that they were about to kiss, but instead the boy had only let their foreheads touch. Both teens had their eyes closed, and for the first time Levi had seen that day, the rowdy female’s lips curled into a pleasant smile.

“Better?” he asked, releasing her after a few seconds.

She sighed euphorically, leaving no trace of her previous state of hostility. “Better.”

_What the hell was that all about?_

 

 

* * *

 

  
Petra peered at two male figures walking side by side on the street from her living room window. It was a good 15 floors up from where they were, but her sharp vision did not let her miss a thing. She glowered at the cheerful teenage boy, loathing at how close him and her neighbor were becoming. She had always been the most protective of Levi.

“How long has this been going on?” Oluo, her partner, queried as he watched the same sight right beside her. He was bothered by the questionable friendship just as she was, but there wasn't much they could do given the current situation.

“Far too long,” she answered in disgust. “That beast manipulated him into accepting this twisted mating relationship.”

He closed the blinds on her, earning a bitter snarl from his petite lover. “Erwin says we make no moves unless an imminent threat appears.”

“But that beast _is_ a threat!” she disputed, hands clenching at her sides in anger. “We have to do something before that thing tries to hurt him.”

“Petra, that child is of no threat to Levi,” Oluo assured her, grasping her small fists in his hands. “Of all his children, you know him the best. You know that _nothing_   can harm him. Or do you look down upon him in his current state?”

She relaxed faintly beneath his touch, red eyes burning in turmoil. “No, I…I just worry. That boy…he’s not like the others. He’s more powerful, more dangerous. I can feel it.”

The man nodded, mouth dipping into a frown. “I can too, but it’s not that much of a surprise. He’s a Jaeger - Grisha’s son.”

“But Grisha pales in comparison.” She remembered how the beast had encroached her thoughts, leaving her vulnerable and unnerved. The memory was sickening. “This boy is a menace. He is vile. Erwin has to come and see for himself what exactly we’re dealing with.”

“I will communicate your sentiments to him, but you know that he cannot step foot in this city.” He wrapped his arms around her, taking in the soothing cold of her skin.

She, in turn, laid her head against his chest. “But if something happens to Levi…”

“Then we will fight for him, and we will bring him home. We, who are his most devoted, are everywhere we need to be,” he whispered. “We are here for him.”

Petra smiled sadly. “All this for a man who will never return to us.”

 

 

* * *

 

  
For the whole way back to his apartment, Levi had been quietly seething with jealousy. The emotion was so strong, he knew it was probably bleeding out of his pores. He didn't know what the hell that forehead gesture had been, what sort of wretched display of flirtation it was, but he absolutely hated it. It felt like a betrayal on Eren’s part, even though they were merely _friends_ , and _friends_ weren’t supposed to get worked up over such trivial things. He couldn't understand why he was so upset in the first place. He had no right to be. The situation in itself was perplexing as it is. He didn't need to add his own confusing emotions to the mix.

Eren was well aware of how jealous he was. He found it hilarious even. “I can do it for you too, you know?” he offered when they finally stopped in front of Levi’s door. “I only do it to family and people I’m close with.”

The doctor huffed, wondering how that information was supposed to make him feel any better. “I’m good.”

“It’ll make you feel better though. It’s kind of like a bonding experience.”

Levi glared. “It’s unnecessary.”

“Ymir’s just a friend.”

“I didn't ask about Ymir," he stated almost too aggressively.

“Just wanted to make it clear. I didn't know you were such a jelly monster.”

“I’m not a jelly monster!” Levi snapped, vaguely understanding what jelly monster even meant. “I don't even care about that stupid shit. Go home, Kruger.”

He turned to head inside his own home but stopped at the feeling of soft fingers lacing through his undercut, watching as blazing green eyes inched closer and closer. Levi kept still as the teen bent down and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Eren…” his voice quivered, eyes fluttering at the calming sensation that filled him. “W-What are you…?”

He couldn't finish his sentence, as his body temperature kept rising. His skin tingled all the way to his fingertips, toes curling in pleasure. His heart swelled with nothing but joy and contentment, filling him and making him whole.

Eren released him soon after, leaving a chilling emptiness in his wake. Levi could feel the sudden void. He was not left his smiles like Ymir. Instead, he was filled with silent anguish and misery. Like he was being denied something that was meant to be his. It was all too much and not enough at the same time.

“I could _feel_ you…” he uttered softly in bewilderment. “Like I felt you before…”

“Uhm, I guess it does leave that effect on people,” Eren replied, clearly not understanding what Levi had meant. “I just try to keep the calm and positive vibes going.”

“No, I could _feel you_. I could…” the doctor tried to explain, unsure of what even he was trying to say. A sharp pain suddenly struck his temple, crippling him and bringing him to his knees. His ears were left ringing and blocking out Eren's cries. He couldn't hear what the boy was saying. He couldn't even feel the hands that grabbed hold of his shoulders, shaking him. His eye lids were getting heavier and harder to keep open. The world started spinning in front of him and steadily blurred behind a veil of darkness.

 

 

_Wake up! Levi, wake up!_

_He opened his eyes, staring at a reflection of himself in the mirror. Blood red eyes were gazing back at him in disinterest._

_“They want us to wake up,” his clone stated impassively. “Tell them no.”_

_Levi nodded in agreement. It wasn't time to wake up yet._

_Please, wake up! Please, please, Levi, please wake up!_

_No…no…no…_

_The stubborn voice kept coming, echoing louder and louder._

_Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!_

_I said no..._

_A crack blemished the surface of the mirror, traveling all the way down to his reflection, until the whole mirror burst in front of him - shattering into fine powder and dust. His blood red eyes snapped shut._

_I said no!_

“Levi, wake up!”

“I said no!!!” he screamed angrily, bolting up from where he was lying. His vision came back into focus, eyes landing on the tears that streamed down Eren's cheeks.

“Eren, what-”

The boy cut him off with a desperate embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around the shorter male, as if he feared Levi would fly away from him if he didn't. The hug felt so much more different than all the other times they’d touched. There was no swarm of confusing emotions, no dizziness, no haziness…only warmth and desperation and fear…a howling that left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“Levi, I need to tell you something.” 

 

 

 

 

End of Chapter 4

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So more and more characters are now coming out of the dungeon. Just wanted to say that Ymir is one of my all time favorite characters in SNK, and OMFG, why??? Why did she have to die? Anyway, because I love her so much, I gave her a very important role in this fic. I can't wait to start churning more chapters out that focus on her and why she is such an essential character to the story. Also, Marco. Even though he hasn't shown up yet in a dialogue, this angel has a very important part to play as well. Wink wink. Again this story is going so much slower than I had intended. I'm not even sure how many chapters this fic will end up having. I'm probably going to split these into different stories in a collection, maybe even have them under different character POVs. We'll see!


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